Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Dork Knight Rises Again

Okay, this is officially crazy. I’ve been accepted to the Clarion Writer’s Workshop. It’s a big deal. Some of the other attendees are already professional writers, been accepted to Writers of the Future and making money for their words and all sorts of adult stuff.

I still feel like a kid beating on his computer because he’s not satisfied with the way the world is now. My life feels like a script of Harold and Kumar that never made it off the slush pile. My personal timeline looks a little like this

I’m born: Hello, world! Smells like chicken!

Young Man: Thank god that school thing is over. What should I do next? Ah, I know, I’ll subvert the dominant paradigm and become a Taoist priest!

Five years later: Ack, being a priest is hard. Let’s go to Korea. It’s on the other side of the world. That’s why everyone’s standing upside down! Wow, you’re a beautiful girl. Let’s get married. Why not? Publish a book of poetry. Too bad the economy collapses, I’ll just have to….

Next Year: …go to grad school. Hello black berets, black coffees, bleak attitudes. Make a literary zine. Ride a motorcyle. Crash the motorcycle.

Two years later: Medical school? What? In Israel? Stop shooting at me! Where’s my gas mask?

Four years later: Emergency medicine training in South Central LA. Gangers and rappers, stop shooting each other! I can’t pull the bullets out fast enough!

A thousand bazillion years later: Medical training finally over! No more hundred hour weeks. Time to be a real doctor, have a car and a house and a spiffy white coat. Hey, our film was accepted at Cannes! Let’s take a whole bunch of films and try to be a producer!

Soon after: Wife left me and took my money. No big deal, got so much to do. I’m a flipping medical professor now. Studies to publish, students to teach, articles to present. Working in a clinic in Guatemala, backpacking Thailand. And being single in New York City….

A million of your attention spans later: Clarion Writer’s workshop. What?

So, I'm taking a leave of absence from my cushy job, traveling Europe, and I'll try to be brilliant enough to justify my admission. Oh, gotta go, hearts to mend and wounds to heal.....


Astrocat said...

Eric, it's Jen. Still in Berkeley (well, actually Albany). Would love to get back in touch. Email:

Astrocat said...

Clarion...awesome...congrats! Dying to talk to you!